day after day, i feel myself getting weaker.
the dizziness, the trembles i have, the gross feelings. i dont even know how to describe this anymore. i only feel myself getting weaker by day. i can barely stand still at times. and i'm getting numb too easily. someone just tell me what the hell is happening to my breaking down body. sometimes, i scare myself by waking up in the middle of my sleep, because i feel like i'm losing my breath and my heart is beating so fast. i just want to happily enjoy graduation. and i just want to eat all my hk food in peace. just stop all these shit from me please. i just want to relax. stop all these gross problems. and i swear i'll do anything.

the weaker i feel, the more i want to spend time with you. but i know that if anything happens to me, it's gonna be unfair that you have to suffer all these shit on your own. i cannot continue to be so selfish, and i dont want to bring suffering to you. sigh.