when things start to look different on my side, many times, i would just want to tell it to you. but i guess it aint that important when i think about how tired you are, and how i'll just steal sleep from you by talking to you, because i take a really long time to start a topic. well, and plus the fact that you'll probably get annoyed with me, cos i'd really take THAT long to say anything. impatient. and many times, i just end up getting scolded and more upset that i was before.

it took me forever to sleep last night. then i finally fell asleep, but you hit me, and i'm wide awake again. so i literally cried myself to sleep for dont know how long before i finally could sleep again, and you hit me again. i just ended up sleeping for 45min throughout the night, and spent the rest crying to sleep. but i guess, you didnt realise it cos you're tired. and i understand that.

tonight's another night i just want a hug and cry on someone. i had to face this group of guys at ion alone, and they were talking nonsense about being a doctor at tts, and asking me weird things. i was scared. and i just hoped that someone i knew was gonna be around to pull me out of the situation. and deep down inside, i really wished that you were around. but i'm wrong, because you were not even replying my texts then. (not like you have been bothering about my texts recently anyway).

so i'm just staring at my phone right now, looking for a good friend to call out this late. yes i am feeling that neglected, so i turn to my friends. i'm sitting outside my house crying and crying, waiting for everyone to sleep, and i hope no one sees me. so many things i wanna tell you. i'm scared. sigh.

maybe after i'm done with this, i would go out for a walk. without my phone, or rather, with it off.

so many things i wanna do with/for you. but i end up not doing anything because i'm scared.