because i lost a month in china, i feel like it's still april on the outside. however, my body clock is reminding me day by day that this is may. WE ARE ALREADY IN FREAKING MAY. and unknowingly, we're just like a week or less away from THE day.

you think you were the only one that was afraid that the world would end? think again. i'm pretty sure there are thousands out there sharing the same feeling. but i know what i have to say to you if the world really ends. i dont care about what you'll think about me, cos the world would end. i've thought it through already. i dont have to wait for the world to end to say it, but i will.

i'm sorry that i cant go back there next week, i promise to try my best to finish the edits i need to do and be there on friday. i know i may not be the best girl on earth, but skipping this and that, refusing to wake up for you, but i'll finish my work on time for you. i miss spending time with you. but i guess, we dont have that luxury, so i will go there on my own or something, hoping to relive the times that you were with me. i miss you. i really do. ): i've been fighting since to let you go. but i cant seem to succeed.

while you broke your promise(s), i have many other people right now breaking their promises. you aint the only one that managed to hurt me, but you've hurt me the deepest. after you, trust was an issue. after you, i'd rather not know what it means to love/be loved.

and you think it's a joke when i say "seriously..." or "stop it, and i mean it" fine. then live with that joke for the rest of your life. we could just remain like this forever. i dont mind. i dont wanna fall into the trap again. getting myself with cuts and bruises (not literally) all over again. that's just stupid. i've learned how to protect myself from getting emotionally down just for you. i did it once. and i figured that i was stupid, i gave it up. and now history is repeating itself. MAAAAN.

and so you think you're cool and tall and what not. THINK AGAIN. ):< you ugly piece of shit that annoys the shit out of me. every single time i hear your voice, my shit gets annoyed that it has to move. AGRH. i could live with you at the maximum of being friends, and nothing else. DONT TRY IT. know where you stand.

back to the point. friday, i hope you do me good. just dont rain on me. i need the sun. or whatever. really just wanna spend some good quality time either alone/with ONE, TWO MAX. friend(s) there. but i dont think anyone wants to be crazy. haha. so i guess alone sounds good. (: finish using the film in diana, and yay. DEVELOP PHOTOS.

dont even attempt to figure out which part is for who, because they are all mixed/messed up.