it's less than a week to china.

i am feeling... feelingless about it. dont even know what the hell that feeling is. but yes. i am not neutral. not excited, not sad about it. i have literally no feelings about it at all. ahwells. i have no mood to pack my stuff, get my stuff, do anything china related. i dont even feel like buying my cup noodles anymore! there is seriously something wrong with me. ahwells.

but yes. if you get what i mean, i dont want to go there alone. i dont mean literally. no doubt that i will have. classmates and all around. but the it's just not feeling right. i'm quite worried about a few things as well. sigh. there are dark secrets (haha. kidding. not dark. just saying) that i'm afraid will keep me thinking alone. facing some things alone. it's a real pain. only if i am going back to china this time with the group i went with in sec3. it would be awesome beyond awesome. i swear, people should NOT complain about the food there, cos i'll be damn pissed. just eat, cos there are people out there that would eat RUBBISH to fill their stomachs.

plus, i'll be missing out on stuff here. things such as my FIRST COUSIN'S FIRST MONTH. hello. FIRST COUSIN! important much! and like. i actually want to go for st lukes this year. not that i really want to support luke or anything. it's more of. i know how much it means to the people that need the money. IT IS A FUND RAISING EVENT FOR A REASON. yes. i still want to go back to mg. haha.

5weeks is really no joke. i may just die there. oh my gosh. i pray so hard that the internet totally works. i will get a china number. (YES I WILL!) i will do anything to communicate with the people in singapore. i wont give up any chances at all. i will start making a list of things to get for people now. geeee.

Dear God,
i know You have plans for me. and there's a reason for everything, and i may not understand it. i thank You for all you've done for me, dying for me, a girl full of sin at this very young age. time after time, i hurt You by doing things against Your will, but i'm still forgiven. thank You for the unending love, grace and mercy that you have for me. i need Your strength to overcome many fleshly desires. Lord, you know me inside out. you know what i want in life, but i dont know what you want. so i just hope that you take what i want out of me, and put what you want to fill up that gap.
IN JESUS' NAME I PRAY,
AMEN.


ON ANOTHER NOTE, it's been A WEEK. and i am still high about the concert. hahah. and wow. CHECK OUT THE NEW CD MAN! hahah. i am quite cheated, cos i expected more. but well, it's still good. i am happy with more than half the songs. I AM IN NEED OF BEING IN LOVE. in love in love in love. hahah. stop breaking my heart with sad songs. thanks.

我还是真的好想你.