i was super annoyed that i broke a plastic container. like those for new year goodies, i was eating it while she was talking rubbish. seriously, i couldnt hear her. especially when you're eating crackers and the loudness of it when you bite down and stuff. and i wasnt listening to her for like 85% of then time and she got me so annoyed that i could break a container. can you imagine if i heard her throughout the whole thing and stuff, i could possibly break a pot or something man.
I SUGGEST YOU DONT READ ON.
I HAVE BEEN HOLDING THIS IN FOR 3 BLOODY YEARS!
this would probably sound super familiar to grace, cynthia, sophia, joanne and pearlyn. haha. yeah. think about the only time we were sitting together. haha. yeah. i just changed the weeks to years.or even more than that. so what's your freaking problem? if it's just me, say it. i can happily leave. cos all of you are freaking annoying the hell out of me. my gosh. i havent swore so much in ever. seriously, you could have said NO. i mean. i wouldnt bother asking so much after that. SO WHY CANT YOU JUST SHUT UP?! since you freaking said yes to it already.
and you need to stop thinking that poly is for dumbass people that are in the middle of ite and jc. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM MAN. just get out of my sight and annoying me so much. i made my stand clear since DAYONE. i will not take As unless i'm taking it in hk. there's no point in you telling me all these now, cos i'm accepted in a course and i'm gonna work hard for it so that i can get a coolio job i want, TO PROVE YOU WRONG AND FOR YOU TO SHUT YOUR SMELLY MOUTH.
also, it's none of my business to be your maid or what. so stop expecting so much out of me. i dont owe you a living. seriously, it should be the other way, since you could have chosen to not give birth and the world would be a happier one, and that you can stop wasting energy on me. stop expecting me to be home to take care of this and that, cos i am not born for these SHIT. i really dont owe you a living, and you freaking hell wanted to give birth to more kids, so you should have made YOUR OWN PLANS, and stop EXPECTING ME to babysit. it's NONE OF MY BUSINESS. i really wouldnt care whether or not i have a younger brother.
you may say. yah, oldest child must have such responsibilities. OH SHUT YOUR CRAP! seriously, i know many of you will think about that. but you have no idea how annoying it is. you dont come and talk to me about setting examples, taking care of them or what sort of freaking excuses. you think about it, HAVE YOU SET AN EXAMPLE FOR ME?! who took care of me? if you havent, you dont talk so much. you just dumped me somewhere. if you could do that to me, why not to someone 10years younger?
you think i dont wanna correct such an ass. HE GETS ON MY NERVES. hanyupinyin is bloody hell easy, and you all dont know how to do it. FINE. i teach. but does he ever listen?! NO! and it makes me end up annoyed. FOR WHAT?! for the fun of it? shut up man. you think i've got nothing to do is it. even if i dont, i can like entertain myself with so many other things. so why cant you just STOP GETTING ON MY NERVES. so much for telling you if he doesnt listen. WHEN DID IT WORK? the end line of the damn talk would be. GIVE IN TO HIM. how many times can i ever do that? just get lost man.
talk about loving me. i dont deny that you love me. but the question is. HOW MUCH? 0.00000000000000000001% and 100% also cosidered, dont you agree? dumping me at child cares at the age of 2+, and that stupid place makes me join a K2 class, you think i was happy?! you never asked. even if i was bullied, you never asked someone to my rescue. but now, you are freaking hell asking me to talk to someone who bullied him. what crap is this?! you tell me lar your choice of putting him in DUMB SCHOOL ST ANDREWS, that only teaches them to talk in such a stupid cheena tone, play soccer and fight. you tell me what else.
why cant you just stop all these crap? you live in your own world and i live in mine. that's all. huo xin bu hui zhuang di qiu. everyone would just be happy man. you just had to talk about it. annoying pig. freak lar. seriously. AGRHHH. seriously, all of you are like... strangers to me. i really dont know how on earth you're like. even asking you a question like. oh, are you free next week can take me forever to ask. or even where are you going? i will take 5minutes to even open my mouth to ask. if that's the case, tell me how much i can tell you when i'm upset?! i've lost trust in you. too bad. i know it's sad. but too bad. it has been building up, just that you never noticed. then that's your problem. not like i'll walk up to you and say. hey, i lost trust in you, then walk off. that's like crazy.
you never taught anything, everday expecting me to do this job, playing the devil so that you can be an angel?! OH PLEASE. stop being so annoying. i will not do such dirty jobs for you. even when i really want to, when did you let me do it my way?! in the end you'll just spoil him and I END UP GETTING SCOLDED FOR WHAT I DID. worth it or not?! no right. so what's your problem. i've got my ways to teach, but you dont approve, so is that my problem?! you dont like it, so why should i think about another way to do this, I HAVE MY WAYS. it's a matter of principals. i will never change just to please you. only suckers would do such things.
spoil him all you want. I DONT CARE. it's none of my business anyway. but what i'm annoyed about is. I GOT LEFT AT HOME ALONE AT THE AGE OF 6. and he's 7 this year. PLEASE! stop getting me to babysit him. i dont get paid for that. AND you never ever laid a finger on him. WHAT IS THIS?! TELL ME WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS. you dont think i've forgotten what you used in the past. I WILL USE IT BACK ON YOU SOON. dont worry. just watch out.
you made used of someone i love a lot against me. I HATE YOU. what's worse? you made use of his love for me. I HATE YOU EVEN MORE. i really do. you know how much this has been an impact on me, even up till now. i cant get over it, i really cant. stop making use of him, cos i know some things would never change.
YOU ARE REALLY ANNOYING. just go away! i dont wanna see you anymore. you'll never know how i feel. what is family? i dont know, and will never know. i'm not entitled to know. because i've been some sort of outsider since the day i was born. i was never treated the same as the rest, except when i was with grandparents. i can never know what they are talking about. cos it isnt my problem. i will never get to hear secrets cos it's between them. i cant. i really cant live in such crap anymore.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST DIE SOMETIME SOON.
maybe on the way back from genting, i'll like. die in some sort of accident.
anyway, astro means i get to meet almost everyone i want to already. so it's okay even if i were to die.
-
15th would have been a much better day. but because of some sort of last minute thing, everything got cancelled and made my supposedly happiest day to the worst day. I WANNA GO FOR ASTRO NOW! fade into the crowd and get to meet fung, jessica, ahyi, charmaine, hangyee, bosco, moses, and all the other people. that's probably the only thing that's keeping me going.
-
i'll update about love with a cause later.
awesome time spent in school and friends. (:
i just realised how much my phone hates school.
明明從前是我傻, 求求你姑息我