am i a failure?
will i pass my year?
is it possible for me to finish up everything?
is it possible for me to not take exams?
you know. i really dont know what the heck i'm thinking about.
i feel so... SCREWED. ):
like.
i want and dont want end of years.
i want and dont want to study.
i wand and dont want to fail.
i want and dont want to die.

dont you see the irony?
i know life is FULL of them.
but then, why cant i get a break from them for ONCE?
WHY?!
TELL ME WHY.
I HATE MY BOOKS.
i want to cry. but where are my tears?
they are deep down inside.
and i know they are overflowing.

i am ultra pissed with you.
i dont know why.
it's just recently that i'm like that.
it's maybe cos i am like. really stressed and all.
that i even feel that eating is of a waste of time.
i really think it is. ):

WHY CANT YOU JUST TEACH ME?
why cant you just understand me?
why can you just help me?
why is it always ME HELPING YOU?
why me trying to understand you.
why dont we exchange roles and you help me for once?
i've tolerated ENOUGH.
i really did.
cant you just get it?

ARGHHHH. 2 weeks from now, geog and ss would have been OVER.
and i havent done anything about it. HOW GREAT.

i really need to find someone to trust and rant, really soon. else i'll just break down like some lunatic you see on the streets.

from tomorrow onwards. and i really mean it, i am going to study ALONE. somewhere in the school. somewhere no one finds me. though i may be scared of i dont know what, but i will do everything and will be able to do them as long as i learn how to _____.