you know, sometimes when i say enough, i really mean it. seriously, i have tolerated you for a very very long time. and you should never ever use that incident to start talking sense to me. cos it will never ever work. it was NOT deliberate. so just stop it would you? you are never going to be the same as him. he has made his way to a higher spot in my heart. i am willing to let my eyes suffer at the temple for him or what-so-ever than just go there on vesak, which is a total waste of my time.

i have thought of ways, not just one, but more than that. yes. obviously, the most effective one is like what cheryl loves, and has been thinking about it lately. DEATH. really, if i can just jump off a building and everything comes to an end. BUT there are other consequences which i am not willing to face. you know. i dont want to end up like some of them and start wandering on earth since like, FOREVER when i can just continue living, watch tv, live my life away, then die, go to heaven and enjoy.

other ways, such as just turning deaf (which i dont want cos i dont get to listen to music ever again, cannot watch tv, and everything is just by sight. it makes my eyes tired. if there's a fire, i'll just get burn like a roast pig since i cant hear the bell.), murder you (which is like OUT. cos i am not going to jail for such a stupid pathetic reason. and i will not go just for YOU. its like the theory of i rather starve for a month because of my vcds and not potc3.) and the last one, just talk back all the time (and i do not want to do that cos it is rude and it might never ever end.)

anyways. just when i was really pissed off and stuff. after all the depressing things, someone was nice enough to bombard me with old chinese songs. which really really helped. really. THANKYOU! all the classic classic old songs. i swear. then from OLD OLD classic tv show songs to alan tam and all the rubbish we had. now my received file is filled with. idontknowwhatkindofsongs. really. i look at them, i stare harder, but never get what they are singing.

and finally. HAPPYBIRTHDAY&THANKYOU KAT! (: i really just let it off and i am really sorry if you are worried. well. i told you not to. but seriously, you are the only one i can tell cos you are the only one that knows about it. really. even my family and anyone i talk to everyday dont know about it. you can be honoured. and yes. your hug was received although you didnt take a bus or cab-ed down. (: and i better be sleeping like now. before you nag at me again tomorrow.