i am tired. tired of everything. physically and mentally. i've got enough of everything. whether its studies or not. i really just want to lie down, sleep, sleep and sleep. sleep and never ever get up to face the world. and wont plan to get up even if you are going to tell me that jessica is right in front of me.

look at the list of work we have. i am so super not done with 1/4 of it. they are just piling there, smiling at me with the when are you going to do me look. okay. not like my books are alive or what. just that really, if i am not going to do my work, its just going to ask me when i am going to do my work. which is not nice!

i am so sick and tired of getting up at unearthly hours. after sleeping at another unearthly hour. which will make me so grumpy and all. i dont want to go for cip anymore. but i dont have a choice, do i? i cant say i'm sick cos my aunty will know i'm not. but i can tell you this, i am falling sick. at this rate, i might not be able to even crawl out of bed on the first day of school, let alone walk to the toilet.

i am worried. and in fact, more worried than anyone can be. i am worrying from all sorts of directions, worrying if i'm doing or saying the right things or not, worrying if i'm going to accidentally spill the beans, worrying when there will be help from anyone i can really trust, worrying that i am not able to complete things on time, even worrying about things i'm not supposed to be worrying about. worrying that my parents find out. really, even the tiniest detail you can think of, i am worrying about it.

i am going mad soon. if i dont find anyone i can talk to, i am going to go mad. like. literally. i will be sent to a mental hospital soon. plus, looking at the amount of work we have, i am going to die. i know what i can write for zhou ji already. (:

WHERE ARE YOUUUUUU?